Idiots and an Invader
by Ragamuffin Girl
Summary: Okie, I wrote the first chapter by myself. The rest was written by a friend. CHAPTER 4 IS UP AT LAST!
1. Zam's Dragon

Body A/N: Please read Tiny Thing before reading this as it tells about Riz's abilities. 

A Dragon, An Invader, and Three Idiots of Doom 

As you know, during O:ID1 (Operation: Impending Doom 1) a destruct-o-bot rampaged throughout Irk's military base destroying the mission entirely. Everyone who was a part of the robot incident was either sent to Food Courtia or to a really bad place in some other galaxy far, far away. VERY far, just to be safe. Invaders Spoo, Zam, Zorth, Kil, Jayl, and the most feared, Zim were all sent to Food Courtia. However Zam blew up part of Food Courtia with his "amazing and incredible" cooking skills and was sent to one of them galaxies I was talkin' about earlier. There he built a laboratory to make a "Deathy Doom Machine of Stuff" in order to conquer the galaxy. He succeeded and made a HUGMUNGOUS dragon from some fossilized DNA. But it wouldn't obey him so he sent it away in an old spaceship. On his trip to wherever he was destined, the dragon grew to seriously dislike and hate his creator's race. When he passed a planet full of creatures that looked almost exactly like Zam he broke out and started burning things and rampaging. 

(during the chaos surviving Irkens gather underground) 

Irken 1: All our battle bots and over half of the Armada is down! 

Irken 2: We need a warrior! 

Irken 3: We don't have any! They were all in the Armada which is now a big FLAMING DUST BALL! 

Irken 4: Then what about someone who could _talk_ to the beast of doom? 

Irken 5: But who can speak-- 

(all 986,577 Irkens turn to a rather short Irken female who backs into a corner) 

Irken 6: Riz! You can speak to the dragon of death! 

Riz: Wha-- 

(the two Tallest nod to each other and throw Riz out into the battlefield. She lands up on the dragon's nose who glares at her) 

Riz: Ow......that rea---EEK!! 

Dragon: *snorts and growls* 

Riz: *stands up and speaks in dragon*Um, hi. I'm Riz. 

Dragon: Greetings puny one. 

Riz: *growls softly* 

Dragon: I am NoName. What do you want and how do you speak my tongue? 

Riz: Consider me unusual. I want you to stop destroying my planet and go before I hurt you. 

(NoName laughs throwing Riz off his nose and into his clawed paw. He squeezes her tightly) 

NoName: What the zark could you _possibly _do to ME? 

Irkens spying on the scene: We are so doomed.....we should have sent someone taller. 

Riz: THIS!!*releases the sharpest spider legs in existence from her back pod* 

NoName the one-pawed dragon: ARRGH!!!!!!!!!! 

Riz:*falls, screaming to the ground and lands hard as a dragon's paw lands on top of her* 

NoName: I will have my revenge some other time!*flys off in his spaceship* 

All Irkens: *gather around the paw wondering if their heroine is alive and gasp as Riz calls out from two blood covered claws* 

Irken with a microphone and a hi-tech video camera: Riz, you have just saved the entire Irken Empire! What do you have to say? 

Riz: I'm not alive at the moment, please leave a message at the scream of intense pain. 

And so Riz saved her species. Good for her. 


	2. Robot Time

Body Riz & Zam's   
First Fanfict  
Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or any related characters. Except for me. And Mir. I do own a   
rubber piggy! YAY! 

Riz: Oh gawd........I wrote none of this. It's all Zam's. Beware. Okay, so I did some alertering at times...and Zam can't spell and I have no spell checker thing! 

Zam: Quiet you! And keep in mind that I have blenders! 

Riz: Eek!!!! 

Cir: And uh.........I'm smarter then Mir and Gir! Yays! 

Mir: And that every Irken knows about the Tallest tricking Zim and stuff! The Tally people like to brag. I like cupcakes. 

Cir: See? All Irkens dispise and fear Zim, but it changes for Riz and Zam! 

Riz and Zam: DON'T GIVE THAT STUFF AWAY!  
  
Chapter One: PREPARE FOR DOOM!   
Riz: Zam, YOU WERE NOT INVITED! 

Zam: But I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to be part of the Great Assingning! I can't   
miss it! Zim was part of it, and he's more of a screwball than me! I missed   
Day 1, Day 2, AND Day 3! Day 4 is the last day! 

Riz: Zam, you are a real idiot. Why did you need to bring me???   
Zam: Cuz I can't fly a spacecraft. It has a lot of doohickeys!   
Riz: ugh.   
(Riz & Zam run up to the stage, where the Almighty Tallest are finishing up   
the assigning.)   
Red: Boy, you're really short.   
Purple: How's the weather down there? It'll be cold in Freezanniozo. Bring a   
jacket!   
Both: GHA HAHAHAHAHA!   
Red: Lasers!  
Purple: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
(purple rolls on ground, hands on his eyeball.)   
Zam: WAIT! WAIT! WAIT FOR ME!   
Red: Hey, get up Purple. Zam is here.   
Purple: I thought we banished him & Zim?   
Zam: oh, it was boring, so I quit on the first week. And I couldn't miss this.   
Red: How can you just QUIT being banished?! 

Purple: Because we haven't gotten any good guards.  
Riz: ZAM! THIS IS A BAD IDEA!  
Purple: Wait Zam. You too, lady.   
(Tallest whisper & discuss)   
Red: You are going to follow Zim's path to the "secret mission." He will need   
asistance (snigger).   
Purple: yeah, a LOT of asistance! (giggle)   
(Scene changes to robot-receiving room)   
Purple: Each of you will get a SIR: A Standard issue Information Retrieval Unit.   
Red: I have a laser controller...   
Purple: I'll shut up. (gulp)   
Red: They obey your every command, will take a laser-shot for you, and   
collapse into a lunch box now AND thermos!   
Purple: Who wants this one?  
Irken: I DO!   
(Purple throws robot at the Irken, who is injured)   
Irken: (injured) why do I always yell that...   
Red: Everyone else, line up and get a robot!   
(after much pushing from Riz, she & Zam get to the front of the line)   
Zam: (singing) I get a robot, I get a robot!   
Red: umm... We have a "special" prototype for you...   
(Red rummages through garbage, making two robots, one female, one male.)   
Red: Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...   
(clunk, clank)  
Riz: Is that one mine?  
Purple: yes.   
(robots come to life, and jump before same-gender masters)   
Male robot: Mir, reporting for duty! 

Zam: What's with the M? 

Mir: I have no clue whatsoever! Yay! 

Female robot: Cir, c-i-r, reporting for duty! 

Riz: C? Isn't it supposed to be S? 

Cir: No, I'm the right one. The others are allllllll wrong! 

Riz: Oh crap......I have a defective robot like that reject Zim! Does this mean-- 

Red: Okay Riz, we won't lie to YOU........(eyes Zam and Mir who are hitting themselves) 

Purple: You see, we don't expect you to make it back. You are just there to make sure that--(sees that Red is getting impaient and lets him speak) 

Red: That Zam causes no trouble for us from the Earth planet. Your job is to make sure that he's stranded there. 

Purple: Like Zim. Keep an eye on him too. That's why we can't afford to waste a real Sir. 

Robots: HEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHA!   
(the three idiots have fun bouncing on their heads)   
Red: Okay, buh bye, don't forget to write! ...lasers   
Purple: AHHHHHHHHHHH, MY EYE!   
Riz: (surveys scene) I hate my life.   
MEANWHILE...   
On Zim's Voot Runner:   
Gir: DOOM DOOMIE DOOMIE DOOMIE DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOMIE DOOM DOOMIE DOOM...   
Zim: (thinking) I hate my life.   
  
Review & tell us so that we can post more. We're gonna make this a LONG ficcy!   
Also, only Zam's second fic. Chapters may take long, since I am making a Final   
Fantasy game I ster in. PIGGY! HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA! 

Riz: Shut it Zam. 


	3. (Painful)Arrival

Body Doom Will PREVAIL!  
Zam: I AM SOON TO BE KING OF ALL THE LAND!  
Riz: You forgot to take your pills, didn't you Zam.  
Zam: Yup skidodly! La la la la la la la la la la la...  
Riz: Get on with the fic.  
  
And Now, DOOM WILL PREVAIL!  
  
(It is in Riz's Voot Runner.)  
Riz: Now all of you, don't touch ANYTHING!  
Mir: Pretty lights! (He presses a button labled  
"eject")  
Riz: I'm happy I have a Breath Bubble on. (She is  
ejected.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
Zam: (singing) I getta drive!!! I getta drive!!!  
Mir: I getta push buttons!  
Cir: I getta hit my head on the wall!  
Riz: (thinking: and I have to hold on to my own Voot  
Runner for dear life. I hope we don't take long to get  
there.  
1 year later  
Riz: (thinking: cr*p.)  
Zam: Hey, a blue slash green round thing!  
Riz: AT LAST! WE'VE ARRIVED!  
Mir & Cir: (go red) Collecting information...  
Zam: I'm gunna land dis baby!  
Riz: LET ME IN!  
Zam: Say please.  
Riz: please. LET ME IN!  
Zam: Kay.  
(After landing, it shows it is about 10:30 p.m. on our  
planet.)  
Zam: Where to land...  
(Comes to building a few blocks away from Zim's house which  
is, in fact, a vacant lot now)  
Zam: HERE!  
(He lands it VERY hard.)  
Riz: PAIN! OW!  
Zam: at least were here.  
Mir & Cir: WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!  
Okay, that's that. End of chapter. I'll post more  
soon. Sorry it's so short, and It's taken awhile. Just  
continue to read like good little stink monkeys.  
  



	4. Settling In

Raggymuffin: Oh jeeze...I never thought this would ever be added on to, did you? 

Her friend who has yet to receive a nickname and shall be titled Bob: Well soooooorry if I was busy! With the groundedness and all... 

Raggymuffin: Who were just lazy, the groundedness and little to do with it all! And--OH MY JHONEN!!! ARE YOU AWARE OF THE BUTTON MARKED 'SPELL CHECK'?!?!?! 

Bob: Mir ate it. 

Raggymuffin: Oy........oh alright...so much for a free day of doomyness. 

Bob: Don't you have two fics to work on already? I GOTTA SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN THE RAGAMUFFIN ONE!! And I haven't read the Vengeance one yet but I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!! 

Raggymuffin: K, you're right....for once. Today is "Work on fanfiction" day for me. 

Bob: HAHA! 

Raggymuffin: Don't make me kill you. Hey, lookie, Screenblast got the next Lenore eppy up! It's the infamous "Gotcha nose" skit. 

Bob: *runs off.....into a wall* 

Raggymuffin: While I call the ambulance for some help, you read. 

Disclaimer: WE OWN STUFF HERE! Riz belongs to Ragamuffin Girl, Cir belongs to her friend Stacey but is owned by Riz, Zam belongs to "bob" and so does Mir, although he's owned by Zam. Actually Zam and Riz own themselves.....but we get to say we do cuz alter-egos don't have any rights whatsoever. Zim and Gir belong to a hybrid monkey cyborg thing aka Jhonen Vasquez. His name is funful to type! Wheeeeee! Story written by "bob", MAJOR touch ups and some rewriting by Ragamuffin Girl aka Raggymuffin. Vampires are neat. A certain one is cuddly. I shall shut up now. 

**ENTER ZIM (I like mmm yep)**

After much debate, Riz finally got to choose the disguises. 

"I want to be a platipus." Cir said, tongue sticking out. 

"For you I'm thinkin' a cat." Riz suggested, studing her robot. 

"Can I be a platipus cat?" 

"No." 

"Please?" 

"No." 

"Please?" 

"Zam, what's Mir gonna be?" 

"MAKE ME A FUHSDAFGET!" 

"What is that?" Said Zam. 

"I dunno. ... ... ... MONGOOSE!" 

Riz screamed at the top of her lungs, or whatever Irkens have. We haven't taken any antomony classes on Irkens...yet."SHUTUP ALL OF YOU!!!" 

"K" 

"k" 

"o" 

"Huh? Oh forget it. Now Zam?" 

"Yessssss?" 

"See that button? Press it. I invented a machine that will make you unstupid." 

"K" 

As Zam walks to the machine, Riz thinks _AT LAST! A SMART ZAM! Wait, that's possible, right? Oh great I'm thinking to myself..._

__But as Miss Bitters loves to say, IT ALL WENT HORRIBLY WRONG! 

*zap* 

"Did it work?"Riz said hopefully. 

"I dunno. I need nachos." 

"Guess not." 

*zap!* 

*ZAP!* 

*ZAP!!!* 

Both "WHAT THE?!?" 

KA BLOOIE EXPLODY NESS! (He he... I likes kablooie...)Plus smoke. Sorry, no lasers. 

*cough, cough* "ZAM? You look... smart." 

"Mmmyep. You increased my brain power by 470%. But the effects will wear off. I'm only smart for 3 hours at a time." 

"Damn." 

"Mmmyep." 

"Mmmyep." 

By the way, the robots fell asleep around "k". 

Now it was time for applying disguises. 

Zam, a pathetic disguise of only spiked, brown hair and green contacts. 

Riz, a wig of long blonde hair tied back in a purple scrunchie and dark, dark purple contacts. 

Mir became a neon blue rabbit with a bite taken out of an ear and a zipper in front with the rodent teeth and a black tail and black-tiped back paws. 

Cir got to be a kitty, neon green, with a zipper in back. Black paws like Gir, a long black-tipped spiked tail and two sets of three retractable fore-claws made of some Irken chrome stuff. You expect me to know all this? 

The house was designed by Riz, it having an interesting look. Picture Zim's house only instead of greenish shades of green it's a purple that is nearly black. Actually, you might as well call it black. Instead of lawn gnomes she put stone and marble squirel statues that come alive and attack. 

"A PUPPY!" (Zam smartness worn off. Mmmyep.) 

"Zam? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON EARTH? The Tallest assigned ZIM! Not Zam." 

"Were here to help Zim, old buddy, old pal, amigo!" 

"Don't sound so human or I'll be forced to cause you a big deal of pain and great harm." 

"Doesn't sound too comfy." 

"I hate you." Zim stated very angrily. Mmmyep. 

"GROUP HUG!" Gir screamed. 

To make a long story short I'll just put sound effect. 

CRACK! AHHHHHHHHHH! KA BLOOIE! 

'Nuff said. Fun fact: Riz's spider legs hurt a lot! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Bob: Well that's it for now. Sorry for the delay, I wuz grounded for ever. Like almost a whole year. Mmmyep. Mmmyep. I like Squee. 

Raggymuffin: I though u was all hospitilzed! 

Bob:..............*accent*I got better. 

Raggymuffin: K. 


	5. Skool

This is "bob". I actually have a nickname, it is Tallest Cohort, aka T.C. Love and cherish me. LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I command you! 

Now 4 story 

SCHOOL! Mmmyep. 

"Zam, it is your first day of school. LOOK BETTER!" 

"I look fine." 

"Put your disguise on." 

"Oh yeah..." 

As you see, it is their 1st day of doom--I mean, skool. 

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" said/screamed Mir. 

"MIR!" 

"Yes my master!" He's reeeeed. Mmmyep. 

"Mir, why do you scream every 2 nanoseconds?!?" 

"I dunno." 

"..." 

"Just get me my coat. It's cold out there." 

"KAY! ZOOM GOES DA PIGGY!" 

"I hate you." 

"Awww, I luves yoo tu! Hehe... tutu..." 

"Ummm... kay..." 

(After a heated argument, pain, and Riz's spider-legs, they were off) 

~~~~~LATER~~~~~ 

Miss Bitters was unhappy. *stuck for a year with whiny midget brats that are all doomed. I've got to be insane by now.* "Class, today two HORRIBLE students will join your HORRIBLE class. Do not welcome Riz and her brother, Zam. 

"Hi." 

"Touch me and die." 

(Dib is staring wide eyed with his mouth gaping at the scene) 

"Take your seats, as you may NEVER leave them again. 

They sit to the left and behind Zim, Zam on the left. At first Riz was sitting in the very back of the room but the stink of dead, rotting........things......changed her mind. Not to mention the thing in the closet. I think it was just a monkey, personally.... 

"DOES ANYONE NOTICE THAT 3 EXTRA TERRESTRIALS IN THE ROOM???????" You can guess who's saying this. So I will not tell you. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

"No." 

"Nuh-uh" 

"Not me" 

"Doo dee doo dee doo" 

"THOSE THREE HAVE NO SKIN CONDITION! THEY ARE NO HUMANS! THEY ARE ALIEN! ALIIIIIIEEEEEN!" 

"Here we go again" The Letter M said. 

"I like that movie..." Said Poonchy. 

Whispering:(don't worry about him. He couldn't investigate his way out of a blucha.) 

"FINE! Laugh now, but when your all enslaved or dead, YOU'LL BE SORRY!" 

"Man, Dib, your crazy. Mrs. Bitters?" some kid said. Mmmyep. 

"Yes?" 

"How many more passes do we have to send Dib to the Crazy House For Boys?" 

"One but we'll be getting more next week from the doomed PTA. Which no one is doomed enough to waste their doomed lives on." 

"I got some!" Squealed Zella. "I got them off of cereal boxes and with my pizza!" She held up two, one nearly falling apart due to an excessive amount of grease and cheese on it. Everyone knows only one cup of grease and cheese per pass to the CHfB! I'll shut up now. 

"Let's use one." 

And so, Dib was dragged screaming away for another happy, wondrous day of inexplicable torture. Yay! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Nice huh? I been lazy, and I gots Fillerbunny now. *snap, crunch* mmm... lugnuts... 

*snap* Buh Bye! *crunch* OOH! Removed teeth! *more crunching* 


End file.
